Today is our Wedding Anniversary. I know what you’re thinking, “Meh, that has no meaning for me, but Happy Anniversary.” I have heard that if you can make it past 7 years with someone than you can last a lifetime. I have also heard that after the honeymoon period things become real and you finally meet the person you married. All of those pretenses fall away and you are left with the beta version of the person you once dated. Well, at least in some cases. We hit our 7 year mark and are still together so that must be a good sign right?
We have such low expectations of marriage and at the same time we have such high hopes for it too. We all know that one couple that you secretly hope won’t make it because they are too perfect. Yet in the same hopes are wishes that they can make it just because it means that maybe you too can find that one person to make your soul whole. Nothing is easy.
I was once told that anything that is easy is not worth it. Whatever “it” might be. Time and love are tricky things though. It’s sad how time is both too fast and too slow and in some ways love can be just the same. In the beginning of a relationship you find yourself in the midst of time travel. You can’t breathe because the butterflies are flying into your lungs, keeping them from being able to expand and contract. Moments together never last long enough but they are sustained in your heart and memories. I know what you’re thinking now, “Wow, this is mushy and disgusting.” I concur, it is.
Anyone who has liked someone in a romantic way knows what I mean though. Love, lust, like, and longing are feelings that are not easily forgotten. When you have been with someone for a period of time those memories have more importance and they should play a larger role in your relationship. It is easier to forget the beginning as time goes by. It is easier to overlook. Those idiosyncrasies that you once found adorable have a way of becoming annoyances. Love itself has transformed in many ways. You fight now and maybe you didn’t ever fight before. The thing is that most of the time the fights are over things that don’t even matter. Not to mention that somewhere in the middle of the fight you think to yourself, “I can’t even remember why we are fighting,” but there is the principle of the thing now isn’t there.
In the beginning love is all about romance and impressions. Love is lust filled and loopy. Love is simple and passionate. In the middle love changes. It takes effort and work. It takes maintenance and memories. Love can die and it can be killed. It can be dulled and dimmed down. People don’t realize that love is not naturally made to last forever on its own. If it were no one would ever separate. We are not birds who mate for life. Life can overwhelm us and love can underwhelm us. It’s easy to get bored and complacent with someone and to forget all of the things that brought you together. People have a tendency to seek entertainment when they are bored. When it comes to love that can lead to infidelity and eventually heartache.
So what is it that has kept us together all of these years? Well, we don’t have a special formula. We aren’t perfect by any means. We complement one another in many ways and in many things we agree. I think for us, we are both stubborn and prideful. We aren’t willing to give up or to roll over without a fight. We are willing to fight each other for each other. It is not simple and it is seldom easy but it is always something that we want. I don’t live in a fairytale and I know that nothing seldom lasts forever, but I try so that we can be MORE together.
We try to remember that Love is work.
So here is to another Anniversary under our belts.