Then Comes Marriage

So many people get married every day and so many people get divorced every day. We all know the feeling of falling in love and wanting to share that happiness with the entire world. Marriage is one way we can do that. It is a chance to say to the world, “You and I were meant to be together and we are going to be together forever.” The thing is that change is inevitable and sadly feelings do not cover the reality of our lives. Feelings are one aspect of an ever-changing whole that is humanity.

When you are in love with someone in the beginning of a relationship everything is perfect. You are not annoyed by those small imperfections that make up that person. You look for the positive and you cannot see any fault. You are their cheerleader. You have faith and trust in them and in their actions. Early love is about lust, it is about being blind, and it is about pure emotions. Early love is a child in the spectrum and timeline of love. It is young, it is needy, it is clumsy. Early love is naïve to the ways of the world. It can be beautiful and it can bring absolute joy, but it is not meant to last forever. Young love ages just like all other creatures on this world.

As love ages our sight is cleared. Our emotions begin to die down and are no longer running the show. Change begins to show as our love grows. Love doesn’t necessarily multiply but the growth is more of a rearranging. What was once pure emotion and little reality starts to reverse. Marriage is binding. It is meant to be permanent. Before you get married separating is so much easier. Divorce is a process. That binding process has a way of changing love’s form as well.

Marriage is work, it is dishes, it is fights. Dating is smiles and butterflies. Marriage is clothing left on the floor, laundry piled up, marriage is having a house full of children who all need different things. They all need attention which detracts from giving your spouse attention. Love can be put in the background of reality when you are married. It can be forgotten at times and it can be small when it should be grand. It has adapted to a new environment and a new situation and it was a slow change. Perhaps you don’t even notice it at all. That’s the thing though, love is and it isn’t.

Love can cure you and it can also curse you. People so often forget that as love changes they need to adapt as well. Marriage is not easy. It is work, as your love changes you have to decide what you want to do with your marriage. Married love at some point becomes a choice. Do you want to put the work in? Do you want to stay in love with the person you fell for? Young love fades and as it fades it is replaced by something more. A mature love that can be forgiving, a love that can be truer and stronger than a young love. Young love is easy, it is simple. So many people find themselves amidst the whirlwind emotions that it contains.

A mature love is something that you see when you meet a couple who has been together for decades and still holds hands. They still walk together. The couple that is inseparable. They are not perfect. Their love was tested at times. I can guarantee it. The thing is that they worked for it. They fought for it and they decided to adapt to their changing love so that they could endure together. No love is perfect, but love can surely be perfected.


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