I am a procrastinator. I have a tendency to put things off especially when it is something that I feel is unpleasant. I get the job I need to do done it just might be at the last minute in some cases. I have also started projects and given up on them after awhile. I think somehow people close to me have viewed that trait as me being incapable of finishing things. It irritates me that I might be seen that way and lately I have felt the gaze on me.
The thing is you have to know when something isn’t going to work out and let it go. I have tried my hand at a few things before and I did the best that I could, but once I realized that I simply wasn’t good at it I let it go. We cannot all be amazing at everything even with practice. There will always be some things that are simply better left for others to do. I can’t sing. Don’t ask me to or you will regret it. I have attempted to be crafty before and I can do some things well, but as a business it would be so difficult for me. I just didn’t have the desire needed to sustain my interest at something like that. People don’t realize that part of “growing up” is realizing who you are as a person. That involves finding out what you can and cannot do as well. Not everyone wants to write and perhaps there are some who want to but they simply don’t have the ability. It happens.
Blogging has been a relief. I find it a way to get me to write and by having views it keeps me accountable. I follow a few blogs myself but I don’t necessarily follow every blog I run across. I don’t want to feel like I am taking ideas from others. I think if I can keep my exposure limited then I can feel better about the ownership and originality of my own writing. I try to limit my viewing for that reason but there are those blogs and bloggers out there who are so unique and talented that you can’t help but read. So many people write today and each style may not appeal to everyone. I may not be great at writing either, but that won’t stop me!
My blogging has been going on for a little over 2 months now, but I have been writing all my life. People may not realize that because they don’t see my journals full of ideas, notes, thoughts, stories and more. A single person can have a plethora of interests. We are all drawn to so many different things and that doesn’t mean that we are aloof it simply means that we like them all. I think that as a writer you can find your interests to be overwhelming at times. A Blogger may want to stick with a certain genre and hone in on it, but to me I would feel limited. Then there’s the option of writing about everything that crosses your mind. I don’t think my blog could handle that either. It would be an A.D.D. nightmare!
I am working it all out. I am slowly adapting to this whole blogging world. I have started to see which of my posts draw readers in and which do nothing at all. I am learning the importance of a good title too! Posting is crucial. I saw just the other day where a blogger tries to post at least once a week. Here I am feeling guilty if I don’t post at least once a day. Everyone is different and we all have different schedules and life events going on though.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I have given up on things before. I know that. This is not something I intend to give up on though. This has meaning for me and I want to improve so that I can be proud of what I produce. I am working on my grammar skills daily. I am refreshing my memory and most importantly I am writing something every day. Between blogging and writing books I have a lot on my plate not to mention all of those other lovely side dishes. This post is meant to be open and honest with myself about my capabilities and times in the past when I did give up. I want to be accountable and in order to do that I need to take count as well. My goal is to continue and to persist as a blogger.