Dating. I have been working on getting some ideas together to do a few posts about dating. I looked over some articles to see what is currently out there and you know what I found? I found a lot of advice that didn’t seem to relate to real people. It was a lot of generic advice that could help people but doesn’t necessarily inform anyone about the actual reality of incorporating dating into our lives. I know what can I possibly know about dating? I am married. I wasn’t always married and I am still in fact a woman.
First of all dating is not the same thing to everyone. Realize that. Understand that and most importantly be up front about what dating is to you. Dating could mean having the goal of looking for a long-term relationship which could include marriage. For another person dating could be casual perhaps an extension of a friendship. One person could want to date several people while another might want a mutually exclusive relationship. Communicating your intention will go very far. If you don’t want to be married then be honest. Don’t waste your time and don’t waste someone else’s time. Get to it from the very beginning. Just remember your goals can change at any point in time and they can be changed because of a special person as well. Don’t limit yourself just be honest.
What is a date? I think this is something else that has become muddled for many. I have a lot of friends who have complained about the types of “dates” that men have taken them on. I know women like to be doted on. Don’t let them lie to you. The simplest (maintenance wise) of women will always enjoy a man who takes the time to show her his worth over a guy who sits around and does nothing. This doesn’t mean that you have to dole out the money on a girl but do something that she will remember. Be different. If you aren’t trying to impress maybe there is a reason. If you don’t want to see the girl again then there is a reason for this too. My friends have told me that it seems like men have forgotten how to date or perhaps they never knew how to in the first place. The point is that for a girl they like interactions. Women want to get to know your interests and they want to be involved in an activity that they can enjoy. Keep that in mind!
Impressing is making an impression. If you plan on meeting up then try to be at your best. Don’t expect to make a great impression if you don’t put any effort into that first impression. I have had friends who said they got into their dates car and had to sit on piles of trash or junk. It didn’t make a great impression on them. Others have told me of women who showed up and had attitudes while on their date then they expected to get a call back the next day. Be realistic. A good man isn’t going to put up with a woman who has an attitude on the first date. A good man doesn’t have to. I don’t mean that you don’t need to be yourself. Be honest but try to be the best version of yourself.
Drama. We all have baggage. We all have exes or kids or parents. Don’t let the baggage in too early. It will scare anyone decent away. Be sensible. Keep the drama to a minimum until the relationship hits a point where you know it can be handled by the other person. Be honest about your life but don’t take your ex’s phone calls in the middle of dinner and have an argument in front of your date. You won’t come off looking well and you may just lose their interest. Not to mention if you are taking a call from your ex during a date it makes it look like you may not be over them. So are you? Figure it out. Work it out. If you are then move forward and time things with consideration.
I am going to touch some more on dating over the next few blogs and I will incorporate more stories into my content. Some times humor can illuminate the mistakes that we all make. Most people are looking for someone for something. We all just need to figure out what we are doing and why.