Southernfried (SF) is at the National Park College Student Wellness Fair.
Enter 3 young males, two of which are Asian.
B (Asian #1): Looks down at SF. “Are you….” Pauses and squints heavily
SF: Answers automatically. “Yes, I’m Korean.”
All the males laugh.
Non-Asian Friend: “I’m sorry, they just say things.”
SF: “It’s because they’re Asian. We don’t filter. That’s a whypipo thing.”
All the males laugh in agreement.
Chan (Asian #2): “Were you born here?”
SF: “Were any of us?” Then proceeds to share condensed backstory A. (Yes, A stands for Asian Audience Version and includes hand motions to symbolize portions of the story)
We all laugh.
B: “There are so many Asians in here right now!”
We all agree.
Brief discussion about my last name and being Korean. They do not agree on the way Pak is spelled because their Korean friend spells her last name Pack. I tell them it’s common to have different spellings. Also reveal I am only half-Korean. They lose a little Asian love for me. Another brief discussion around my age. They believe I am 21. They do not believe my real age. I like them even more now.
SF: “It’s okay, I’m used to it. Besides, I’m the Southern Fried Asian.”
Puzzled looks are exchanged.
B: “I’ve never heard of the SouthernFried Asian.”
SF: “That’s because you hadn’t met me until now.”
Non-Asian friend laughs the hardest and immediately presents the bumping of fists option, to which SF instantly reciprocates.
B: “We should take a photo to commemorate this moment. There are three Asians together at once in Arkansas.”
SF: “In Hot Springs, Arkansas!”
We all agree. Photo evidence has been supplied for your viewing pleasure.
B: “My name is B, it stands for Best Asian.”
Chan: “NO. I’m the best Asian.”
Small disagreement ensues.
SF: “Obviously, I’m the best Asian.”
Both new Asians team up and in unison say, “No. You’re only half.”
SF: Makes sad face and concedes because her math skills cannot out match two full Asians at the same time. Ain’t no shame in my game though.
We all agree to share the evidence on all the things social. SF: has officially upheld her end of the bargain.
Thus endeth a typical ArkanAsian encounter. Witnesses were present and can be contacted for quality purposes.