Acceptance, Blog, Depression, Help, hope, Love, mental health, podcast, public speaker, Relationships, Strength, susie reece, Susie Reynolds, susie reynolds reece, Thoughts, Understanding

WiseHealth for Women Radio: Grief Series: Episode 1

“Life is precious, and so is saying goodbye.” -Linda Kreter

Grief is the longest, most painful goodbye. It’s awful, one-sided, awkward, and agonizing. Just when you think you have let go of their hand, a reminder, memory, or image flashes before your heart and takes you back to where they once were. Sometimes they gently touch you and you drift back into their presence. Other times they knock you right on your ass and you realize they are gone. Gone. And now they are nothing more than a _ space where their name should be.

We take so much for granted. I have taken far too many for granted. Now I can only ever look backward on many of those I have loved. I can only remember them. I am left longing for more of them. More time, more moments, more laughter, more meaning… just more.

I say this, to remind you to pause. Right now, stop what you are doing… stop reading this and text someone. That someone. The one who flashes to your mind in this very moment. Stop reading and take 4 seconds to say, “hey, I love you.” Make a plan to see them. Make them a priority for just a few seconds of the 86,400 seconds you have today.

We don’t pause often enough anymore. We don’t pause and consider the things we are posting, the content we are sharing, or the person standing right in front of us begging to be seen. I ask you to take a moment, every so often to be intentional. Take a moment to invest in those you care about and take a moment to renew your heart. Because life is precious. Life is short. Life is difficult and cruel. But we can make life worth living, if we love the living.

I have been blessed in this life to be allowed to share my perspective and thoughts on my world. And I would personally like to thank Linda for having me back on her podcast and for allowing me a chance to share my thoughts and experiences. I’m not sure that I know a lot of things in life, but I do know that life is short. I have learned that lesson in too many ways over my lifetime.

This series is for those I’ve loved, those who have left their mark on me, and those we’ve lost far too soon, my father, Andrew T., Brittany W., my grandmother who adopted this little Korean, Courtney Sorrells- the best friend I can never replace, Katrina- my sister and unapologetic woman (man how I wish I was more fearlessly myself like she was), Second, Olivia- there are no words.

And every person we’ve lost to suicide and substances over the years, sadly there are far too many to name.

If you find yourself commuting, driving, waiting in an office, or have a few free moments, please check out the first podcast episode of a series on grief.

Linda Kreter and Susie Reece bring you the first in our series about Grief and Loss. We want to start the conversation, and let you know you’re not alone in this altogether human experience.

Please like the WiseHealth for Women Radio page and share this podcast episode.

Grief and Loss Series – Episode 1

For more information about Susie Reece, go to http://www.SusieReece.org or Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/southernfriedasian/. For more information about Linda Kreter, go to http://www.WiseHealth.com.

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Learn From Us

You don’t necessarily know me. You may not understand all the facets of why I function as I do, or all the aspects of my anything-but-simple life. But there is one thing you should know, putting words around my thoughts and expressing my struggles has saved my life more times than I could ever count.

It started in journals. Dozens and dozens of journals have been filled with terrible grammar and punctuation throughout my decades. I scribble illegible notes everywhere. I have hundreds of half-started pieces in my phone. There are books in different stages on my computer begging to be finished.

I write. Even when you don’t know it, I write. I have since before I can recall anything else.

When I share things publicly, please understand it isn’t necessarily a way of asking for attention but a way of sharing a piece of my soul to you in a moment I felt led to do so. Not all of my soul is beautiful, or clean, easily explainable, selfless, sensible, or even parts I’m proud of. There’s a lot of me I’m not proud of.

But still, I write.

Sometimes when I share, it’s done on days like these where my mind cannot stop. Days where I know misspellings and cluttered thoughts may make me sound like a rambling mess, but still I write. So here I am, exhausted in ways I’ve never experienced before in my life, lying in my bed knowing I need sleep, writing because it is the comfort I can grasp at in this one second.

I need to say this, please, please, I beg of you Learn from Us.

Don’t let me be misunderstood here. I don’t want to teach you anything. I don’t want to share some poignant life lesson in the hopes of coming off as having learned some valuable wisdom. I don’t want credit here. I don’t want kind words saying how beautiful anything is, all I want is for this pain, this soul-wrenching pain to do one good thing. Just one. Please. I’m begging you now, don’t let our pain be ignored. Please, learn from us.

This hurts. It hurts every part of me. My family is broken right now. Pieces who belong here with us were stolen. They are now the empty spaces at our ridiculously large table. They are laughter, and memories, and beauty that we cannot look across our plates and laugh along with. Our family is dynamic. We are diverse. We are the epitome of resilient, but man, we want nothing more than to be whole right now.

And what hurts more is the fact that each and every one of us who is left is broken at this moment. Everywhere I look I see pain seeping out of souls longing for peace. This hurts beyond words. These words are meaningless compared to what could be said. But what should be said?

There is much I never stopped to consider. I never realized so many things. I don’t know how anyone could endure something like this alone. I don’t know how it wouldn’t destroy the humanity of a person.

You will not sleep. You will not eat. This week has been a rollercoaster of emotion. Grief has been woven into things that must be handled, quickly, efficiently, without any mistakes because we want everything to be perfect. But we are not okay.

We have moments where we put our faces on and someone says, “man you’re doing good for someone who…”

No. Just no.

We don’t know you. Our family is me. I am them. We are not the same but we laugh. We joke. We work our asses off. We are a force unmatched. We are intimidating women who will get it done and that is what we are doing now. We are working because they need us to. We need to. Everything is depending on it. We are depending on it.

And the second we can, we break apart all over again. The second we sit down, or drive, or see a photo, we fucking shatter. Understand this, that word is the closest I have to express how badly we shatter.

We can’t remember who said what. Who was where. Where we are. We can’t remember our people. We walk out of the room and don’t know why. We’re looking for our phones that we’re holding. We get lost driving. We can’t remember how to finish our own sentences. And to anyone who has no idea, we look absolutely abnormal.

We have been judged all week because we laugh and push through in front of those who have no idea what has happened. But believe me, we are not okay. We simply have the grace of being a part of a huge family who is leaning hard on one another right now. When one is strong she takes the lead until she can’t. Then another picks it up. And this was definitely not planned. This is simply how I have witnessed it for us, through us, these past few days.

Please learn from us.

Stop moaning about having to put your pants on to go be around people. Stop putting the events off. Stop avoiding the memories simply because it means you can’t binge watch tv.

I swear. I absolutely promise you, the second or third thought you have after your heart shatters will be regret for every missed opportunity to share time, love, and memories with those who have been ripped from your world. And that word, that 6 letter word, it eats into you. Even when you know better. Even when others try to comfort you and say it isn’t a logical feeling. It doesn’t matter. Regret will win.

So, do the thing. Love them. Be with them. Don’t waste time on people who do not love you. Don’t waste energy on the people who want you to look bad. Don’t waste time on half or partial feelings. Go all in. Love them more than you’re capable and show them. Please. Please I’m begging you, show up. Stop finding excuses why you can’t or why you shouldn’t. Stop being lazy. Stop giving yourself outs and okays. Set your issues down and work through them if they’re worth it. Go to them. Be with them. Make memories. Hold your babies. Please hold those who live in your heart in any way as tightly as humanly possible for as long as life will allow you.

Because let me tell you this, we are not in charge of life and death. It will happen and it will destroy whoever you think you are. And all you will be able to do is push the pieces of yourself back together and hope it makes a new workable version of you.

Please, please, as I’m crying in the dark, please learn from this pain. Let it do something good. Let it be for some reason. Let it help someone because right now, it’s all I have to offer anyone.

That and my imperfect love. I love you all. I really, truly, deeply do.

All.

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Finding Your Public Speaker in 2020

How do you choose an impactful speaker these days?

You have a conference, training, or general event coming up. You’ve planned and put together your agenda. You know your audience, but who are you bringing to really cement your program in stone? Are you simply bringing in the first name you can think of or do you have the perfect person in mind?

1: Talk to your speaker and be sure they understand the needs of your audience as well as what your goals are for the event.

2: Ask qualifying questions up front. What is your rate? What additional services can you provide for this rate? Have you worked with this audience type before? What are your needs during the event? What technology needs do you have? What types of event promotion can we expect from you? Think of this as a job interview, because that is exactly what you are doing.

3: Do your homework on them and be sure you have a feel for their style.

4: Be upfront about your needs. Your event agenda, logistics, your goals, and your expectations. Don’t settle!

5: Check around! The ball is in your court. If you are in need of a speaker, do your research and find one you connect with on a personal level. There’s no harm in having a few speakers you like either. You can always create a speaker list for future events.

6: Don’t wait to book a speaker! Many speakers are booked out weeks to months in advance. The sooner you can get them to tentatively hold a date the better.

7: Keep your speaker informed of your planning and event process. The more information they have the better they can be prepared to do a great job.

Good luck on your search for the perfect complement to your event.

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