I was nice to you,

  But then you followed me. 

Down each aisle, as I quietly perused

  The canned goods and dairy options. 

I saw you from the corner of my eye-

  But dared not look you in yours.

  For fear of your unknown. 

You followed me to the checkout line, 

To “simply” tell me how beautiful I was. 

   You wanted to be sure I knew. 

I smiled slightly and said thank you, as you expected me to do.

  But when you slunk away, I continued to watch what you could do. 

I hurried to my car, swiveling- swirling, looking all around. 

   I didn’t see you as I threw things hastily in my trunk and dashed through the slit in my door. 

Only feeling safe at the click of its breathless lock. 

      I was nice to you, and you to me (at least that’s they would say…) but unknowing and knowing tells some of us vastly different things. 

.

I was nice to you, just as a friend. And told you on day one.

    I wanted to trust you could respect that need, after all we were adults.

  You said it was the same for you and that you understood.

  I genuinely hoped we could care for one another in this deep but simple way. 

Then you started showing up.

UnWanTed and

unannounced, 

  With longing eyes of expectation. It should come as no surprise.

I did my best to ensure I was clear- not firm, too nice, or coldly calm – to you or to your feelings.

  You said nothing need change for us.

You understood my needs.

  And still, I’d find you out in my world, this thing, that place, my hidden spots were gone.

You’d fill my texts with innuendo. And eventually alarm.

   I’d tell you thank you, but I’m not interested, and remind you of before.

  Yet no nicety was sharp enough to carve through this undisguised chase. 

  Then you followed and watched me once for too long. Others grew concerned. It took a man to walk me out, to do what I wasn’t allowed.

My niceness could no longer camouflage my fear and it was time to cut all ties. 

      I was clear with you, and you to me (at least that’s they would say…) but it didn’t help you accept my no. 

..

I was nice to you, and you read into it, but never looked to see my side, you only saw what I could offer, peace of Mind, an ear, a heart, I was nice to you, and it made you feel, so you turned me into a goal, but never asked me about my life – my world, or offered me the chance to share, I kept my answers to the point, a yes a no, just to be sure, I gave you space and time, you stepped confidently into my own, without considering what I might want, you kept it up for weeks on end, and pushed me past my limit. I was nice to you and you to me (at least that’s they would say…), but never once did I get to share because of what you might have said.

~

I was nice to you, and you made it more but who’s at fault for that?

I was nice to you, because when I’m not you beat, or rape, or kill me dead. 

I was nice to you, and your frail small ego, when I should have been anything else instead.