There are simple and effective behaviors that can deepen trust and offer support.

The field of suicide prevention has long discussed what individuals should and shouldn’t do in response to a person disclosing suicide-centered experiences but has not always provided specific lived experience-backed examples. Research has shown that negative communication about suicide can reinforce stigma and discourage help-seeking behaviors.

I believe research and efforts should be built from the real-life experiences of those who have lived through them. We should ask people what helped or hurt them and use this invaluable knowledge to guide our work and responses. Positive responses can foster connectedness which is a key protective factor in preventing suicide.

But do we always know what a positive response is? And is your positive response one I will find helpful or even want?

What I have learned is that something as simple as expressing gratitude for the trust placed in you, acknowledging the difficulty of the situation, and offering support can drastically change how a person in need feels after sharing deeply intimate and vulnerable information.

I don’t have to provide answers or solutions. I simply need to recognize that our relationship matters and how I act in that moment can and often does leave a lasting impression.

Ultimately, the choice to communicate in a helpful or harmful way is up to each of us. We all need to realize that our communication choices don’t simply affect our lives, but also the lives and hope of those who might need us during their darkest times.

Listening (Open Acceptance)

There is a component of openness that does not insert personal opinions or beliefs. Listening means being fully present and centering the other over ourselves.

(*Appropriate) Sharing (Validation and Gratitude)

One key part of disclosing is thanking. We should honor the trust placed in us. We can do this by simply saying, “thank you for sharing this with me.”

Support

Supporting can be expressed in multiple forms, from allowing them to vent to offering practical options and even simply reminding them of their worth. Ask what kind of support would be most helpful.

“I am here to listen.” “I believe in you.” “This resource might help.”

*Suicide-centered lived experience: Individuals with suicide-centered lived experience can include those who have had or are currently experiencing thoughts of suicide, survived one or more suicide attempts, lost a loved one to suicide, or provided substantial support to a person with direct experience of suicide.

(This work was done by interviewing people with lived experiences and allowing them to drive the conversation of what helped or hurt them.)