If you want to stand out, you can talk shit about the folks who are forced to remain voiceless. They are the easiest ones to discuss.

You know the ones. Well, YOU may not know them personally, but you know of them. The ones who if they stood up, they would be pointed at. They would be sneered at. Mocked, giggled at, questioned, called crazy. 

Ones like me, but not because they don’t hide it like I do. I’m better at that, hiding in the closet. Thanks to the jeers and the snarky comments that tore me down while I was growing up. 

If you want to be someone, influence others, find your place, you can step on the ones who won’t add up. Their numbers keep them small, uninfluential, easy targets. Decide you know better than they do, don’t speak with them, don’t concern yourself with their plight- then rant. Rave. Become the expert in their experience and tell everyone about how they should feel. How their existence truly is. What you know, because you decided. Your decision is all that matters here. It always has been.

Don’t worry about the time I sat in the front of the room while you talked about my story. My experience. It was just that thing that happened to me. That day long ago. You told the room all about it- and you knew because you read about it. You “understood”. I was impressed at the depth of your understanding when even to this day, I cannot fully grasp the thing I lived through. I’ve read about it myself, and the things I read, well, they were flat. They were static. They were one-sided and I found myself excluded from the pages. Countless pages that never mentioned me, but laid out my past and future in a way I would cower from if it were said out loud. 

Still, you knew better than I ever could. I wish I could hold that knowing. I can only imagine the deep sigh my soul would take in the relief of understanding. How lucky you are, to have read and understood when I lived through and probably never will. I envy you in some ways. 

But this isn’t about me. It is about what you can do, to be heard and seen. To be touted a “thought leader.” You- the visionary who never wakes in the middle of the night because of the visions of your past. You- the one who can understand so deeply an inexperience you will never be forced to have. 

If you want to be unforgettable, discuss us- the forgotten ones. If you want to stand out- step on those who cannot stand tall for fear of scrutiny. You will never have to worry about public shame or opinion. You will never have to fear the misunderstandings and assumptions. You can own our pain, harness it for your triumph- and never have to fear the consequences because who would ever believe me over you?