I have been involved in suicide prevention for over a decade. As I sit here, this suicide prevention month, I find myself wishing I could remember more about the early days of suicide prevention efforts. The days where I was only a “target audience” member and not also a leader in this space. I wish I could recall how messages found their way to me and what I needed to see from them. 

I’m thinking back now because I know my perspectives of being a person this work should serve and being a professional have blended into one another. I wonder what I might be missing these days. I wonder if one of my perspectives has overgrown the other. I know there are times when my lived experience is loud, when it becomes unsettled, when it is abused or overlooked by our field and I cannot hold my tongue, but what if there are quiet rumblings I no longer feel? 

Perspectives shift all the time and as we learn and become more entrenched in practice, we can lose sight of what might be impractically important to a person. The closer we are to our work, the harder it is to see it as others do. 

Lived experience work has brought me so much value and one element is that it has allowed me to stay in touch with the people we serve. I hear their needs, their discontent, and their disapproval of our efforts. Challenging isn’t contentious, it is an opportunity for alignment and strengthening. 

I hope the me from years ago would approve of the work I do today. That she would see her heart reflected deeply in my work and that she would seek solace in it, because I know she needed that. I hope our work continues to ensure those we serve feel heard, because if we aren’t listening to those with lived experience, why are we in this work?

For all the ones I’ve lost, who stay with me… Dad, Brittany, Michelle, Gordon, too many to count.