I’ve had my way with words.

I’ve used them against their will.

I’ve twisted them to shape my narratives and not slowed to blink an eye. 

I’ve learned that what you say isn’t always what you do.

I’ve seen people speak circles around the facts so others will get lost along their way. If I babble cleverly enough, no one will see that these words hold no truth. I use my words as a shield against action, as a cover under which I can lie. I use my words to build hopes and dependence, only to leave both unfulfilled time and again.

These unweighted words we fling about us have a tendency to shake foundations and even beliefs. We grasp at gravity, hoping to hang onto meanings that we understood from before. Even though we know the words, we do not choose how they will be used. We only choose what we can believe.

I once unfurled words as though they could be undone once used and abused. I spoke them nonchalantly, nonsensically. I said and wrote them as though they did not hold me to them. I thought I understood the power of the words I tasted, but I never saw them as lifelines hanging onto me. They skipped off my tongue without thought or consideration, no matter the promises I hoped others would heed.

Then time, wisdom, and learning came.

I realized something deeply life-changing.

These words we fling about, they shatter. They shriek into the hearts and souls of others and our futures. They shred their way into people’s sanity and tell them who we aren’t, who they can never dare to be. These words we waste without retaliation are chiseled about our reputations and who we are.

As I sit and think about this situation where someone’s words never match their actions, I realize. They have told me who they are in substantial ways while their words were meant to soothe their truth. They have shown me one thing and said a hundred others. They have allowed me to see that their words are empty and hold no awe. They do not honor their oaths. They do not care about contexts. They only say what they do to continue to fool themselves because few others stay fooled save for those who wish not to lose more.

In this epiphany of you, I see myself.- young, unconcerned, and unflinching. I see how I moved through the world before blissfully blind. My youth carried carelessness in thought and speech, and now I see. I see through the facade of you and the words you weave to keep so many in the dark.

I remember the work it took to speak lies and half-truths, and as I have grown to respect the power of words, I feel sorry for the future you so ignorantly disregard. I hope one day your world can be one. Matched in what you speak and do.