Because you never showed me love, I was forced to look for it in other places. But as I was but a child, I was shown so few real choices. 

At first, I found myself alone and sad. Watching wistfully your way. Wanting nothing more than to be accepted, no matter what you’d say. 

Then the time came when my heart caved in, and I traversed it deep inside. I found a peace of being, so far away from your pride. Within myself, I sat and hummed, to quiet the hurt of your hate. The mournful music of my making, your ridicule I hoped it would abate. 

After a while, I found my feet could move a step at a time away. At first it was but a stilted shuffle, then a relentless run to lead me far astray. With distance, and the strength of solitude, my heart I could reset. To see the pain and purgatory, you had hoped I would find beset. 

You hated me for everything and nothing all at once. A child, an orphan, a sad small heart who never understood. The words you shredded upon my skin and carved deep into my head, but thankfully I learned and grew from the depths of all I read. 

In time I came to see how wrong the reality had been, that I was large and you were small from beginning and now til end. I saw you there not long ago, and wondered on my life. How if you’d loved me things could have been without suffering and strife. 

Had you cared enough to comfort a scared and lonely girl, then everything would have changed, including how I’d see the world. I would have grown to know your truth, your heart, and yes- your hate. I would have showered in your shade and not once hesitate. 

My words would have been formed to find the fault in all I didn’t know. The people, places, and even things I couldn’t ever be bestowed. Anger would have been my fuel a fire let out just to rage. Because I would have only ever taken my lessons from your page.    

So thank you for hating me so heartfully and wholly. Because you only chained me down, I was forced to stand on my own, me solely. 

You hating me became a chance for me to live a life worth loving. One where I could find myself. And in that discovery of knowing, I see your hate did set me free to become all you feared I’d be. You fostered my growth through limitation, by kicking me without pause or hesitation. 

Now I am me, and you are you, so far from the same in any sense. I see you now, revulsed and powerless. You are filled with chortling callousness. How sad your soul must be. 

So here we are, you and I. One enemy, one former child. I’d tell you thank you for hating me, but we both know that would be to mild. No, You get no gratitude, no love, no care – just all that you deserve. For those are mine to keep or share, to bestow and to reserve. Don’t worry either about my hate, it’s nothing like your own. I learned too well the things it grows, when sloppily it’s sown. 

Because you never showed me love, I’m happy here today. I hope you know the hate you gave, it helped me to be this way.