Told I was difficult, cold, callous.
Told my expectations were too high
That I demanded too much.
I have been loved hard,
Thrown down when times were tough,
Forgotten when times were good,
Remembered, when the tide changed.
I have been loved hard,
Just a child begging for acceptance,
Distrusting but helpless to resist the urge,
To plead for safety, for comfort, for calm.
I have been loved hard,
Conditionally accepted,
So long as I met the terms and agreement,
So long as I held my end of our bargain.
I have been loved hard,
Crushed between his palm like a fruit,
Pulped down to a nub,
Expected to hold space nonetheless.
I have been loved hard,
Over and again,
Time after another,
Til I knew no other way.
I have been loved hard,
But how deeply could I have felt,
If just once,
For even a breath,
I was allowed just to be, soft.
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